TEAMS
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Judy Boom
82
Playing since: 03/2007
Height: 5'1"
Fun Fact: Built like an itty bitty brick shithouse.
Blurb: When I go BOOM I hit you!! And she goes JEEZUZ HOLY HELL.
Likes: Training bras, wet dreams, binoculars & old school maxi-pad belts
Dislikes: Helmets, pads & rules.
Bio:
Once upon a roller derby season, there was a player called The Canadian. The Canadian was a good skater that hit pretty hard, but she always apologized afterward and stopped her gameplay to help her opponent get up. One day, a rogue rollergirl happened upon The Canadian picking up litter in the Skateland parking lot. Sneaking up behind the tidy Canuck, she slit The Canadian's throat with a skate key, purely for sport. Enervated but panicked too by the fresh kill at her wheels, she stuffed the red-dressed blocker into her trunk. (Later she would deftly slice, zip-lock, package, weigh and apply the correct postage to send the body parts north of the 49th parallel through the federal post.) She then climbed the Skateland steps and rolled through the doors marked: Parents - Please Pick Up Your Children On Time!! The sounds of a scrimmage resonated clearly in her ears but her eyes were slow to adjust to the darkness of the roller rink's lobby. She stumbled, blind and bewildered into the practice, calling out "Are you there Mods? It's me Judy Boom!"
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