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Federal Kill
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Federal Kill

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Teams: Junkyard Dolls
Playing since: 10/2008
Height: 5'7"
Fun Fact: I am fast. To give you a reference point, I'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.
Blurb: I love the fact that I get to physically assault people without getting arrested for it. The derby chicks of CCRG are pretty freaking rad as well.
Likes: Skating fast, horror movies, speed metal and kittens.
Dislikes: Rink rash, bad drivers, dirty ears and the letter "Q".

Bio:
Also a Co-Captain of the Dolls

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.




Junkyard Dolls
Captain
Susy Pow
Susy Pow
Co-Captain
Throttle-Her
Throttle-Her





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RECENT BOUTS:

October 18
Home Team Preseason

@ Du Burns Arena

Night Terrors vs DCRG's Scare Cats
Junkyard Dolls vs DCRG's Majority Bombshells

September 26
2014 WFTDA D1 Playoffs

The following teams will be joining the CCRG All Stars in Salt Lake City Sept. 26-28 to compete for a shot at advancing to the WFTDA Championships in November. The top three teams from each of the four international D1 Playoffs will attend Championships to compete for the sport’s highest honor: the Hydra trophy and the title of WFTDA Champions.

  1. B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls, San Francisco, CA, USA
  2. Angel City Derby Girls, Los Angeles, CA, USA
  3. Rocky Mountain Rollergirls, Denver, CO, USA
  4. Charm City Roller Girls, Baltimore, MD, USA
  5. Montreal Roller Derby, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
  6. Wasatch Roller Derby, Salt Lake City, UT, USA
  7. Arch Rival Rollergirls, St. Louis, MO, USA
  8. Oklahoma Victory Dolls, Oklahoma City, OK, USA
  9. No Coast Derby Girls, Lincoln, NE, USA
  10. Tri-City Roller Derby, Waterloo, ON, Canada

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